Monday, June 15, 2009

A Beginning

I found myself struggling

This is not a place I am unfamiliar with,
I have been here before.
Many times.

I know how to deal with depression.
I know how to cope,
when to press on, when to take a time out.
I am grateful to know all that I have learned,
this allows me to experience the calm happy peaceful moments,
The Eye Of the Storm, if you will,
when I am struggling.

What I didn't know, was how to deal with my desire to write
to express fully what is in my heart the feelings that fly out of me.
I have fallen in love with blogging.
Here I can type.
My handwriting is very poor.
I have a tremor that is very pronounced in my hands.
It is worse because of the Meds which I take for Bi-Polar.
I even take a beta blocker which helps calm it down substantially.
Blogging has changed my journaling habits.

I did not however want to change the tenor of my first blog
I am proud of my simple honesty there
but, did not want five teenagers,
including a son and his wife,
who read it to be burdened with my private concerns.

A new friend here in Blogdom helped me to decide to create a new blog.
Thank you mile 191.


  1. Thanks for inviting me & allowing me into your world. I will look forward to learning more. I know that writing helps me to figure things out, I think this is great!

  2. Yeah. I am so truly happy for you to find a place that is safe to write and to have support of those you feel safe to let in. Thank you for inviting me. You are a wonderful writer, and here in this first post I can say that I am happy to be your friend, your follower, your confident in healing and dealing with depression. Thank you for reading me and for your support where I am. hugs. mile

  3. Hey, I am back. Just got your message today. Here's to our journey. For sure. You are really an amazing woman, what I have read and feel from your responses to me and your support in my struggles. I feel that friendship lifts and strengthens and I am thankful for this venue to do that.

    I am here. I am seeking something, empty feeling, yet when I am not alone, comments come, messages from friendships. I feel your kindness. And I feel that you understand me. I too had to find a place to write that my children wouldn't read. They don't need to suffer from the events of my past.

    I couldn't believe how much I understood your expression of depression and the weight that cleaning the house can have on a person. It is tremendous, and people who don't go through this don't understand how consuming and frustrating that it is. Depression is terrible.

    I was told that I am bipolar. I am not on meds, I am on a research med for something else right now.

    In August I will see a doctor again. It is a difficult road and really suffocating.

    Hugs to you, and hope that you will keep writing, share your feelings. It is safe, and yours, and only who you want in. I have a lot of supportive people who read and help me. You should maybe read their comments, their blogs, they might be good support for you as well.

    Take care♥

  4. i'm also glad to have been invited to your blog!

    this is a beautiful post and really resonated with me....thank you.

    just know i will be here reading but i am terrible at leaving comments.

  5. Good and healing thoughts to you.