On Saturday I left little vicki in a safe place and returned home to the normal hustle and bustle of my everyday life. Together she and I had accomplished some important goals one of which was to write a letter to my mother abuser and ask her not to contact me. I was doing really well and feeling at peace.
By yesterday I still hadn't mailed the letter and this left little vicki feeling unprotected. I created this collage and that helped me to recognize what she was feeling and also that even though two days wasn't that much time to me it was a very long time to little me.
I also recognize that I have to take quiet time away from everything Every Day to connect with little vicki if she is going to trust me and feel taken care of.
The letter has been mailed. I keep reminding myself that what matters is little vicki, the family around me sharing my everyday life, and me right now today. Sometimes I am afraid because I don't know what is coming, by the end of the week the s@#%* should hit the fan. I keep trying to remember how to say "That is between mom and me, I don't want to talk about it." HOW HARD CAN THAT BE TO SAY? I should type it out in big letters so it is in front of me because I know I will forget how to talk much less what to say when the time comes.
Today is therapy, glad for that.