Sunday, October 25, 2009

Sunday Devotional

I love inspiration.
I love beautiful words.
The words inspire me to hope.
They inspire me to dream.
I am inspired to be more
and to reach out and offer the precious
hope I have received in my life
and along my healing journey.

May words inspire others too.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Learning to Talk

Last week I sat there struggling to get any words out in my therapy session. I couldn't make sense of what was in my head. We discussed the benefits to me if I could find a way to express myself. I felt as if I might be back at the very beginning. Dr H gave me a verbal list of how I might begin to talk through journaling letters etc. I asked could I use pictures. He said of course.

I began a new journal wherein I printed off some of my collage sets from polyvore and let them tell some of what I needed to say. I have needed to do this for some time now, I am such a visual learner. The pictures helped little vicki tell some of the story. Big Vicki well, she doesn't like to talk about "it" and doesn't want to. I learned by doing this written/collage journal that little vicki does want to talk to the Dr. and when I don't tell him what she has shared with me them she quits talking to me.

So I took this new journal to Dr H. this week. I asked him if I could just stay out in the waiting room while he looked at it and read it. I just can't stay present while he is reading journaling I slip away somewhere far away and live in fear till he is finished. We have been doing this for many years and I have just recently told him that I leave when he reads some of my journal to me or talks about it with me.

When I came in his office after he had finished reading I felt very small and far away and I sat as far away as I could. But... I stayed I listened I heard what he was saying and answered the questions he asked. I told him I didn't know if I didn't know the answer. I told him I would try to find out the answer to questions I couldn't answer.

This journal session was a good way for me to have therapy.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Sunday Devotional

CHAPTER 30:21-22

And though the Lord give you
The bread of adversity,
And the water of affliction,
Yet shall not thy teachers
Be removed into a corner
Any more.

But thine eyes shall see
Thy teachers:
And thine ears shall hear
A word behind thee,
This is the way,
Walk ye in it,
When ye turn to the right hand,
And when ye turn to the left.

As I have mentioned recently ( ok so I haven't said much "recently") but... anyway. When I began to quit denying that my abuse had affected my life in a big way and that I had a great amount of conflict with God over the fact that he had ALLOWED it to happen or at least didn't stop it from happening, I began to see gifts around me. The Tender Mercies of the Lord placed in my life which had brought me through which had kept me alive. Gifts which needed to be recognized so that a way would be opened up for me to recognize more gifts. Sort of like turning on the light so I could see better truth that was there which I couldn't see in the dark.

These scriptures from Isaiah are some of my greatest gifts I received at the very beginning. I will share more soon. But, for now I wanted to get this posted and share this thought with all of you and thank you for your support and kindness.

Have a beautiful day my friends.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Nie Nie on Oprah

This is Stephanie Nielson of the
NieNie Dialogues
I wrote about her and her amazing survivor story
on the anniversary of the plane crash which almost took her life. She is a Thriver, She is an Inspiration, She is a regular person like you and me taking it one day at a time. She will be on the OPRAH Show this Wednesday, Oct 7. If you have the chance to watch, Prepare to be Inspired. If you can take a look at her Delightful blog. I call it, "The Sweetest Spot."

Sunday Devotional {on Monday}

Psalms 36:9
For with thee is the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light.

Blessings to all of you, and a wonderful week.