Friday, November 6, 2009

I don't know why..

I don't know why
for a person full of so many words
I have so few to share.

I don't know how to put into
words what is going on inside.

I do know that I am trying,
trying to find them
trying to understand the words inside.

Like a new language
a language I must teach myself
because it has never been heard before
at least by ME,
I am listening I am learning
I have not gone away
at least not for long.




I know why the caged bird sings
by: Maya Angelou

A free bird leaps on the back of the wind
and floats downstream till the current ends
and dips his wing in the orange suns rays and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage
can seldom see through his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

my editor..


The editor part of me is working overtime. I don't know if she is part of Big Vicki or little vicki. I hope speaking the truth in a picture will help me.


19 comments:

  1. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.. you'll going to be TERRIFIC... I know you are... !!!! You were meant to be HAPPY JOYOUS and FREE... !!!! (hugs)

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  2. ((((( Vicki ))))) I feel your pain... caged bird, it brought tears to my eyes. One day those words will come my friend, one day. One day at a time... baby steps along the way. I'm thinking of you. God bless you.

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  3. Hi Vicki,

    Finding the words can take time. It is good that you can express things other ways. I love the caged bird collage so much. Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

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  4. that collage hits me. I can feel it. I know it. I wish it were different. Tons of hugs to you, Sarah

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  5. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. ~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

    Thinking of you x

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  6. It was so dangerous to speak as a child of what was happening that it's no surprise it's hard for us as adults. My throat used to close up when I tried so that I would have trouble breathing.

    Add to that the training we get in school by teachers who grade what we write based on how they believe we should write and well it's not surprising we have these nasty inner critics.

    I like to picture shoving mine in a closet and padlocking the door.....

    (((((Hugs)))))

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  7. Hi, Vicki -

    It is inspiring to me to see you recognizing the authenticity of the language of your inner voice.

    All in good time.

    - Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)

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  8. Oh Vicky it hits hard. Often I thought I have left my cage by now I know that I havent left it but created a gate to leave in times. When it comes to talking - I was so wordless for so long that now you cannot stop me anymore. And I LOVE IT. Thinking of you, Love you

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  9. Wow, Vicki! I love the poetry and the collages. Wow! you are getting good at those. I haven't been on Polyvore for a while as I couldn't get Firefox to work and Internet Explorer was driving me crazy! I finally did a bunch of updates and scans and got it working again. Hooray! So, I came around to get caught up at some blogs and now I'm off to Polyvore to fave your collages and maybe do one of my own for the first time in over two weeks. See ya!

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  10. Your collages are powerful! Thanks for sharing them and for the poetry.

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  11. You have found a way to describe how you feel - learning a new language. that is how I feel at times, too. I know it's difficult. I really like your photos from polyvore. I've tried to make some and they are icky, so I will enjoy everyone elses!! Hugs to you.

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  12. Hi Vicki,

    I know I never respond, I pretty much suck at communication but I wanted to say that Thank You isn't enough for how I feel about all the wonderful comments you leave for me. They keep me going on days that seem so dark, you are an amazing person and thank you for not giving up on me.

    Tempy

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  13. Love your art work, Vicki, so honest and inspiring.

    I hope you continue expressing yourself in this manner. You're always such an encourager to others, I hope we don't forget that sometimes you need encouraging as well!

    Beauty

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  14. i miss you. r u ok? hugs. mile 191

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  15. I miss you, too. I know this is a rough time for you. Is there anything I can do?

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  16. Thank you for sharing these words and the collages. I wish you well. Take care! <3

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  17. Passing by to show some love. I am thinking of you and wonder how you are doing. I am in Intense Trauma therapy since end of October and advance toa controlled break down. Wish I could give you a hug, you arent alone. Love

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