Thursday, May 20, 2010

Living

The house is quiet it will be now for about an hour, until the teenagers start coming home from school.  Quiet, blissful quiet.  It will stay that way unless I choose to drown out the peace with a radio or inane lifeless tv noise.  I turn those electronic marvels on far too often, to keep the noise in my head from rattling around.  Noises that want attention, thoughts and ideas constantly brewing under the surface of the real life.

Isaac was here for the morning and into the afternoon.  Becky, my good friend and neighbor took him to the last week of storytime at the public library because I have just simply run out of gas, the Vicki tank is empty.  I think the engine needs a tune up rather than just a fill up.  I have been filling up on a regular basis lately, reading, studying, praying, meditating, listening to good music, writing, gardening, exercising, eating rather than skipping eating, and still I am low.  It is like a low grade depression, kind of like a low grade fever. 

I told Dr. H. that I have no desire to take care of anyone at all right now.  That isn't particularly practical so I have cut back everywhere I can and I trust that I can find joy in the realities of what has to be done.  Indeed, I am sure that the necessities keep me going so much more than I give them credit.

With that said teenage daughter is going to want to shop for a swim suit today when she gets home from school.  This has never been my idea of a good time with her.  Modest swim suits have been located at a lovely boutique in the mall, reasonably priced.  She does not appreciate the curves she has been blessed with, but, maybe this year will be the magical revelation and she will see herself in an honest light. 

I found this today and remembered how much I love these words.  I even bought a book once because the author used "That's How the Light Gets In" as the title.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.
That’s how the light gets in.
That’s how the light gets in.
-Leonard Cohen, from “Anthem”

I found it here today, just what I needed.

Maybe YOU need it too.

Blessings and love.



8 comments:

  1. I have no desire to do what needs to be done either - which is not like me at all. Sometimes I wonder where my motivation has gone! I hope you find yours soon.

    -Bee

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  2. Its a struggle taking care of myself some days, let alone anyone else. Just as well I don't have children. And on tough days I don't go to work. Must be hard being a parent??? I like the poem. Wishing you a wonderful weekend Vicki.

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  3. Such times can be difficult. I can understand what you mean by the filling may not be enough but a tune-up may be needed. Thanks for sharing the poem, I really enjoyed and needed it1

    Take care! *hugs* <3

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  4. Yeah, sometimes I need everyone to leave me alone - and I live alone. That's how badly sometimes I need to have some "down" time. I like it totally quiet, tho. Hope you get the time you need for centering.

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  5. So many days I lack the motivation. I pray you'll get the tune up you need! For now, you can rest assured I'm in the same boat with you!

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  6. Hi Vicki,
    Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my blog with such encouraging comments. :)

    I love Glenn Beck! I watch when on the days I don't work. I love founders Fridays. I am learning so much.

    Blessings,
    Tammy

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  7. Vicki,

    Just wanted to let you know that you are one of the lucky winners of the Book Giveaway for Broken on my blog giveaway.

    Please email me with your mailing information, NO P.O. Boxes please and I will get your books in the mail. I look forward to hearing from you soon,

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

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