I am so very tired.
I feel so much pain and loss.
Jared's Dad has moved on and is in so much a better place. I know that he is so happy to be free of his mortal body which has brought him excruciating physical pain for so many years.
He has endured it with grace.
For me, my father in laws passing has brought up so many feelings of pain and loss about my own father. The pain of never having resolved my issues of abuse with him before he passed.
the excruciating pain of his ability to look me straight in the eye and tell me he would not discuss my pain with me. He would not even take the time to listen to what I had to say.
Why did I ask?
Why didn't I just have the courage to "lay it on him" to let him know what I was thinking and feeling?
Pain and What-ifs to process.
I feel the depression crowding in I feel the tears near the surface and springing forth at unexpected times.
I am grateful for a place to express my pain and very grateful for experience with depression to know that I can make it through this.